The LEARN Steps

We all look out for one another. Common warning signs of suicide:

• Talking, joking or researching about death. These signs are often ignored
• Feelings of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, anger, humiliation, or thinking you are a burden to others
• Changes in personality, outlook on life, academic/work performance, sleep issues
• Isolating from others, or from daily life
• Increasing abuse of alcohol/drugs, reckless behavior, giving away possessions

If you see multiple concerning changes in behavior, move on to the next LEARN step. NOTES Watch for signs of emotional distress as you check in with friends, family, neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances. In addition to the warning signs above, other factors can influence a person’s risk of suicide. These risk factors include:

• Family history of suicide
• Previous suicide attempt
• Childhood adverse experiences
• Veterans, particularly during transition to civilian life
• Historical trauma of an ethnicity or other population

FAQ – Can We Teach Resilience? Resilience will help build strong coping skills. Young people will benefit by gaining resilience – the ability to continue past life’s obstacles. Praise their steps to keep going in the face of adversity, even when their steps are tentative. Be transparent about your own efforts. Share with them an example of when persistence is hard for you – and why you keep working toward that goal. Frame this as a family trait.

Starting an empathetic conversation can be this simple: “I’m concerned about you. You don’t seem like your usual self. What’s going on?” How to show empathy while you listen:

• Listen with compassion. Show them you care by giving your full attention.
• Acknowledge their pain and their feelings.
• Don’t judge. Avoid ‘fixing’ their problem. Realize that their perceptions are their reality.
• Use your own words to reflect back what they have told you, and say, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this.” “Thank you for telling me.”
• Just listen. Those who have really struggled say this helped them the most.

FAQ – Where do Suicidal Thoughts Come From? Suicidal thoughts are always complicated and appear for multiple reasons. A strong sense of isolation is often present. Your gift of listening openly and acknowledging their hurt is a powerful way to ease their isolation. Empathy involves opening your heart to another person’s experience. We often dismiss others’ perception of an event, especially if it differs from our own thinking. Their perception is their reality.

Asking about suicide will NOT plant the idea in someone’s mind. What to say when you ask:

• Ask directly and calmly. “Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
• Or ask by mentioning things you hear the other person say:

Sometimes when people are…

• Struggling with fears about their future…
• Suffering a major loss…
• Feeling hopeless…

…they begin to think about suicide. Are you thinking about suicide?”

• Please avoid the phrase ‘hurting yourself’ when you ask. This phrase can be misunderstood.
• This conversation may take some time. Be comfortable leaving silence in the air.
• Be prepared to hear a “yes.”

FAQ – Will The Person Be Honest With You? Often, you will be giving this person their first chance to talk about their distress. Many people who experience suicidal thoughts say that talking about them gives them a sense of relief.

Youth often know where keys are hidden. Dangers to ask about:

• If they say yes, ask these questions, one by one: A) “Do you have a time when you’re thinking of doing this? B) “Do you have a plan?” C) “Do you have access to the method to carry out that plan?”
• Putting time & distance between someone at risk for suicide & the method they plant to use can save a life.
• Lock up or temporarily remove from their home firearms.
• Lock up all medications, including over-the-counter medications. Leave accessible a one-week supply.
• In crisis, lock up belts, ropes, knives, chemicals.
• Report troubling social media posts.

The best choices to secure firearms are a gun safe, lock box or fast-access locking device for a home-defense firearm. FAQ – Won’t They Just Switch to a Different Method? Creating a barrier between the individual and their method is an effective way to prevent suicide. Suicidal crises will pass over time. Also, firearms are the most lethal method. So, if the person you’re concerned about substitutes a new plan, it will be less lethal. A window for rescue (such as with medication) may present itself. Additionally, 90% of individuals who attempt suicide and survive will live out their natural life.

Take action to get help immediately. Please focus on immediate resources first. There are three tiers of help available. Tier One – Immediate Crisis Resources Tier Two – Need Treatment Tier Three – Need A Therapist How to make the call:

• Connect with one of the crisis resources. Do this together with the person you are concerned about.
• These resources are free and confidential.
• A trained crisis counselor will listen until they understand the situation, then provide support and share resources that may be helpful.
• Please put the appropriate crisis numbers (including the Lifeline and Crisis Text Line) in your cell phone now.
• When possible, make this call on their phone, so the person you are concerned about will have the number in their phone, too.
• Youth can also call a trusted adult, including a faith leader, teacher, coach, elder or spiritual healer
• NOTE: Not all community members are comfortable calling 911. Use it only in an emergency or last resort.
• If they do not agree to stay safe, stay with them as long as you feel it is safe for you.

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988. Press 1 for Veterans. Press 2 for Spanish. Crisis Text Line: 741741, text ‘heal’.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a network of local crisis lines. Usually calls are answered by local lines. This means that the crisis counselor you talk may know about local resources.